Hey there! 

It’s been a hot minute and I’m truly sorry that I’ve been so quiet. 

It’s been a funny few weeks, if I’m honest. I’ve talked before about everything going on in my life and how I was struggling to keep on top of everything. 

I have a list as long as my arm of things I need to get done around the house, the garden, the allotment, and my course. And working the entirety of daylight hours leaves much of it to be left to the weekend. 

Which, in turn, makes my weekend stressful instead of fun and relaxing! 

Yesterday, I rolled out of bed fifteen minutes before I had to leave to drive to Coventry University (they own the grounds of BEST in Horticulture, who I’m studying through). I managed to throw on plenty of layers and leave the house in time, but it wasn’t ideal. 

The worst part is, I woke up with plenty of time to get ready and leave. Unfortunately, it was so cold in my house and I was so tired from my week that I ended up back in bed with a cup of tea until the very last possible minute and I definitely felt like I wasted my entire morning. 

I spent the rest of the morning at my course learning the proper way to plant trees, and then stayed on for the optional afternoon session for some more practical experience – pruning roses! 

While I did enjoy myself, I was cold. Even with a hat, gloves, scarf, layers, and a coat; I was frozen right through to my bones by the end of the session.

Of course, I then got home, frozen, and spent the rest of the afternoon and evening on the sofa playing Stardew Valley, ignoring everything else that I knew I needed to get done. 

I slept horribly thinking about everything I’d neglected, and woke up with an impending sense of dread; facing the fact that there was absolutely no way I could sit and relax today without feeling horribly guilty. 

I got dressed, went outside to the garden and stood there. I stood there looking out at the mess for a good five minutes, trying to work out in my head what needed doing and what was priority. 

Weeding. Setting up the bed behind the greenhouse for next year, and wondering where the plants I bought for back there would fit in and look like when leaves grew back. Which pots needed bringing in for the winter. What seeds do I need to sow now? 

And halfway through moving everything around and hating every second of the cold and the wet and the mud, I decided to just… not. 

I’m not doing it this year. I may not even  go out there and do anything until Spring. 

With everything on my plate at the moment I can’t continue to stretch myself so thin and continuously feel guilty about all the things I’m not doing. 

There are just three weeks to Christmas and I know for certain I have plans every single weekend. I find the holidays very stressful without the rest of life piling on top of me. 

In the end, I did a very minimal, garden tidy. I put all the pots away. I mixed my bucket of nettle fertiliser in with the water in the water butt. I moved a few pots into the greenhouse and swept through the paved areas and that’s how I’m leaving it. 

I’m leaving it to the elements. I’m leaving the leaves and the dying foliage and the weeds. I’m leaving my garden to wildlife to overwinter in all the cosy spaces covered in debris – and that’s okay! 

It’s okay to stop doing things that aren’t bringing you joy and it’s okay to do the bare minimum when you really don’t feel able. 

Your garden won’t fall into disrepair if it’s left one winter to its own devices – it knows what it’s doing! 

If you can bear to spend just thirty minutes to protect everything that needs protecting from the elements. Move tender plants such as geraniums and coleus inside. Lift your favourite tender bulbs and tubers: for example your dahlias, begonias, and calla lilies; to store in a cool, dry place until after all threat of frost has passed. 

And then rest. Don’t worry about everything looking neat and tidy.